Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Things that are deeper

If you read this post, you know I talked about God doing some things in me....Leading me to get rid of some of the distractions in my life.

I find myself thinking back to the days when I was a new mom. Just me and Asher. We lived in a small apartment {that I loved} we didn't have internet, we didn't even have a tv for a while. I would take Asher for long walks in the mornings and swimming at the pool in the afternoons. I went to bed a lot earlier and read a lot more books.

I missed those simple days and parts of my heart have envied that time in my life. That simple time.

Then I realized, the only thing different now, from then, is what I have allowed to change.

It's funny how as I have began this need to declutter and simplify, God has shown me the beauty in doing so. On Monday, we took the kids to Sea World. I took out my camera to take a picture of them in front of the shamu at the entrance, and realized I had left my memory card at home. Then I took out my iphone and took one picture.

One picture. So simple. But it was enough. And I enjoyed that day without the distraction of my camera or my phone. I felt like it was the Lord reminding me of a time when I didn't have those things. We were sitting at the shamu show. Mia was on my lap. Asher was standing between Brandon and I. Bella on Brandon's lap. I looked over at them and my heart filled with thankfulness. It was a moment I wanted to remember. Both of them watching with huge smiles and excitement. At the moment I'd be reaching for my camera, instead, I closed my eyes and soaked in the memory....and it clicked. Just because I'm not capturing it with a picture, doesn't mean I won't have the memory forever.

In an effort to separate myself from what has become a distraction for me, I won't have a personal facebook anymore. It's become clear to me over the last few months that facebook has become one of the sources of distractions. It's not that I spent too much time on it, but to me, even the small amount of time I spent, was wasteful. I don't say all of this to make a big deal, to condemn, or to say "Hey look what I'm doing." Because God deals with each of us differently. This is something He has called me to do, and I can't ignore the promptings any more. I don't want to. Trust me, I've fought it just a little bit. For some people facebook is a way to keep up with other family members and friends who live in other states. That part I will miss. But I know this is what I need to do for this season in my life.

I also tell you this, because no longer having a personal facebook, means my "Faith Hope Love" facebook page will no longer exist---you have to have one to manage the other.

This is actually a good thing, because, while God has worked with me on decluttering, I've been able to hear some new inspirations and ideas that I am really excited about. I've got some new things happening and with that, new beginnings. I know many of you keep up with this blog through facebook. In the next couple weeks I'll have a new facebook page that will coincide with my blog and the other new things that will only be used for that purpose.

I want to live a more a simplified life, in order to make room for the deeper things of God. To clear away the "clutter" so that all I can hear is Him.

I want to cherish my moments as a mom to 3 young kids. To look back and know that I gave myself fully to them. I want to look back on this time and remember our walks to the park, planting flower seeds and watching them grow, chalk on the patio and bubbles spilled everywhere. I want these to be our memories. And most importantly, I want to know that I fulfilled what God set before me for that day. That I was a good steward of my time, that I was aware of others around in need of encouragement and God's love, that my eyes and ears are open to the leading of the holy spirit...

I heard this song yesterday and it was exactly what my prayer has been. Listen to the song, read the words and know the cry of my heart for "things that are deeper"

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"Cry In My Heart"

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

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