Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Uncomfortable

Sunday night I sat in a plane and held Mia in whatever position she would sleep in for 8 hours. Which made for a comfortable trip for her, but not so much for mama. Then last night after not seeing Asher and Bella for 10 days, they didn't want to let me out of their sight. So we piled into Bella's little twin bed and I fell asleep with both of them in my arms on either side.

I woke up and went to my own bed. But at some point in the middle of the night they both made it in to our bed. I laid their, as close to the edge of the bed you can get without falling out because Bella likes to sleep sideways.

Exhausted.

Uncomfortable.

But as I listened to the peaceful sounds of them sleeping between Brandon and I, I thought about the many times they spontaneously hugged us since we'd been home and told us they were happy we were home. They wanted us close. As tired as I was I couldn't bring myself to make them go to their own beds. Because the truth was, I wanted them close too.

The truth of what a gift I have in these 3 kids, in my husband, in our home and in our life. Hit me hard. 

Sore back. Aching arms. Exhausted.  I decided I didn't care about the discomfort. The treasure I hold in this life. The tangible blessings of each day and the evidence that comes with it, far outweighs any discomfort that it can bring along side it.

We had an amazing time on our trip. I am literally still processing it all. The conference--the speakers, the connections we made, were all completely inspiring. Dreams and passions have been reignited. My focus, redefined. There is so much to do, so much to this life far greater than me. So many in need of someone who will step out of their comfort and speak, act, love, do.

I want to be that person. As much as I put my own comfort aside for my kids, I want to teach them to do that for others too. I pray that as I die to myself each day and my own priorities, wants, needs, and wishes. I am walking out love. Not just talking or teaching those things to my children, but showing them by living it out.

I have such goals. Dreams. Plans. God has given me a cause to live for. A burden for others to carry and a desire to do something about it. But it begins right where I am. In my every day. In my home.

Sometimes I get discouraged with myself because I feel like I'm not doing enough. Like there is so much left to do in a day.

But last night, God spoke to my heart. Every day with my children. Loving on my husband. Caring for my home and the things God has placed in my hands, the testimony he's given me to tell and my obedience to tell it....it's training ground.

Each day, each step. Every act of obedience in the little, leads to the greater.

My ministry and my heart begins where I am. Being faithful in the here and now. He's given me  a dream. A vision to strive for. Goals beyond myself.

And He's given me today.

Laundry to fold. Suitcases to be unpacked and groceries to be bought. A baby girl to be held and fed in the early morning hours. A curious 5 year old to love on and answer all of his 567 questions. A husband to honor and adore. And a 3 yr old little girl who watches it all. Wanting so badly to be like her mommy. That in itself is a huge ministry to hold.

I pray I teach them to care for the little. To live in the now. To cherish and treasure. But, with a greater and bigger purpose outside of these 4 walls igniting the way. The people in need of me, them, us...putting our own comfort aside for the sake of those in need of something greater, living in us.

God's looking for people who are willing to get a little uncomfortable for the sake of others. I pray I am always open to be that person. And more importantly, raising a generation willing to do that also.

19 comments:

  1. Beautiful words. You have a beautiful heart. xoxo, Amy

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  2. Came across your blog, and just love it! thanks for sharing your heart.

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  3. This is a beautiful expression of God's word in your heart. I pray that I am a living example of what I try to teach my children. Faith without works is dead. Praying for the Lord to continually be my strength and guide in loving my family and loving people around me- friends, strangers and even enemies.

    Thank you for your heart to share what God is speaking to you :)

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  4. You words are always so inspiring. :)

    luv ya!

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  5. "My ministry and my heart begins where I am. Being faithful in the here and now. He's given me a dream. A vision to strive for. Goals beyond myself."

    Thank you for sharing this. So beautiful, so encouraging! These are precious times!!

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  6. i was asked the other day about my favorite blog and you my love were one of them, and this is why. i just love love love your heart, your understanding of spiritual truths and your desire to fulfill the call of God on your life.
    "So many in need of someone who will step out of their comfort and speak, act, love, do." you have no idea how much i agree and that is the cry of my heart. you're the best. heart you tons.

    oh yea, and i wasn't kidding about your blog being a fave... see: http://scenicglory.blogspot.com/2011/09/la-luce.html
    LOL! the last question ;)

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  7. this is reminiscent of an entry out of my own journal. i never did blog about it, but my goodness, God spoke to me in exactly the same way. i was feeling so burdened with all the things i *wasn't* doing, and that burden alone was causing me to neglect the mission field He has already (so graciously) given me: my own home and family. there will be a time where He calls upon me to rise up and start fulfilling the dream that He put in my heart. but it's not now. right now, i need to be present in what He's given me. you are so right on: it's training ground. and it is definitely JUST AS important as the "big" thing He is calling us to do in the future. thanks for the reminder, because it's so easy to forget this when we're doing laundry and changing diapers and barely keeping sane, you know?

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  8. Such a beautiful heart felt post!

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  9. I'm so glad you guys had a great trip! You're an amazing mama!

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  10. What a wonderful post~ you do have a beautiful heart! I am new to your blog and am now following! Have a blessed day!
    Jamie
    lovelongtime.blogspot.com

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  11. Goosebumps on my arms...I'm singing this tune with ya girl. I'm so glad your baaaaccck and that you had a great time. I heart ya!

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  12. I just can't say enough what a blessing your blog is! I get excited every time I see you have a new post!

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  13. thanks for sharing your thoughts. it's so easy to feel insignificant and want to do "something more", but you're right, our ministry is where we are right now. often the most important ministry, yet often the hardest. thanks for the reminders. :)

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  14. laura, this is such a beautiful post. you're a great example of submission to God's ideas for what defines your "ministry." it's so easy to look outside of the more uncomfortable jobs we have and seek out more traditional ideas of ministry, outside our homes. love it.

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  15. Thank you for this! Our homes are a ministry, teaching our children to love well by example. Always grateful for your words and your heart.
    xoxo

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  16. PS, hubby and I and our 2 oldest will going to Mexico in January to build a house. Stepping WAY out of my comfort zone. More than a little nervous, This post helped me with that ;)

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  17. Oh I love this post. and it speaks deeply to my heart. I've been going through similar issues/thoughts.. I love how you said "My ministry and my heart begins where I am". It's so true! Thank you so much for this <3

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  18. Awwww Laura, thank you for sharing what God has put on your heart. I am a SAHM of 4, thinking I should do more with my "ministry". My husband is a new "career" pastor which just means he has a "real" job as an insurance agent and he also pastors two small churches. It has been a huge adjustment for our little family. I have been so overwhelmed lately, thank you for reminding me to begin where I am...today! Blessings to you & yours, Hattie (coolwhip@ptsi.net)

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