6 years ago....
You were born. Early one morning, after 18 hours of labor, you finally came. You had a room full of people to greet you. Your uncles and your aunts, nana, grandma, papa, mimi, gigi and pas. They were all there. Nothing has changed. They still are. You have a big family that loves you so much. You grew up with cameras in your face and cheers at every milestone. The center of attention. Just the way you like it. As your sisters have come into our life, you've been kind and compassionate toward them. Willing to make room for them. Never doubting mine or dads love for you, but allowing us to love them just the same.
You have compassion far beyond a typical 6 year old. You love. You feel. You are so aware. I love that about you. I know it is part of you and who you will become. A shepherds heart is what you have. You remind me so much of your dad. You love him so much and look up to him in every way. Wanting to do exactly what he does. Last week, he let you put up our Christmas lights with him. He took you out on the roof and even though I had to busy myself to keep distracted because it made me super nervous, I know it meant so much to you. I know it will be one of those memories you'll always have.
Thats what I wish for you. Memories of love, fun, time and conversations with your mom and dad. Because I know they will be what anchors you as you grow up.
You still have the little bear cub hands I remember as a baby and love to hold. You still have a huge smile and dimples. You still beg to climb into bed with me each night. And when you do, you have to be close. Close isn't close enough. You are our lovie boy.
You are thoughtful and compassionate. You are confident. I hope you never lose the ability to walk into a room wearing a Super Mario costume, sportin those overalls and mustache like it is no big thing. Not worried about what anyone thinks, but fully confident in who you are. I will try my best, to help you keep that.
Right now you are really into writing us notes. You write one to us almost every day. One to me and one dad and you always include Mia and Bella too. I have piles of construction paper cards with crayon written words. I keep each one. You don't know this yet. One day I'll show you. Right now, they are simple to you, but to me, they are stamps in time. They are you. Right now. One day I'll take them out and tell you the story of how much you loved to make us cards and then leave them in places for us to find.
You are emotional. You feel things in a deep way. Right now you are still learning how to control that. We are working on it. But I know one day this quality will be used greatly. That ability to feel so deeply...God is going to use that.
I'm your favorite girl. I know one day that will change. And even though my heart breaks a little knowing that, I also know I will be ok with it. Because one day you will meet a girl who steals your heart and loves you strong, like I do your dad. And one day, you will become a dad yourself. Then you will truly know, what our love for you means. Until then I will work every day, to teach you, show you, love you and guide you as best as I know how.
6 years ago, I had no idea what life would bring. I had no idea what motherhood would teach me. What it would take from me. How I would be changed forever.
But 6 years ago, I held a little baby boy and instantly learned.
You my Asher, taught me how to be a mother. You gave me a deeper revelation of God's love for me. That He would trust me with such a precious gift. I am so grateful.
Happy Birthday my sweet boy,