Tuesday, December 20, 2011

7 years....

Brandon and I celebrated 7 years of marriage on Thanksgiving. November 24th is our Anniversary date. The year we got married Thanksgiving landed on the day after our wedding. We got married in Hawaii and Thanksgiving week was what worked out for everyone to get away to go to Hawaii.
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Now it seems like that day could easily get sort of swept up in the rush of the holidays. It is such a busy time of year for us, but no matter what we always try to celebrate. Even if it just means dropping the kids off at my sisters and going to dinner like we did this year. We take the time to celebrate it, because there is so much to celebrate with each new year. And we recognize that.

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I look at the pictures from our wedding day and see such young versions of Brandon and I. In many ways we look the same. But in so many other ways we look different. Over the years, we've walked through some hard stuff. Things we needed to learn, things we needed to find out about ourselves....lessons. I wouldn't trade them for anything.  We've learned them together.

7 years has brought us a lot. But mostly it's brought a deeper revelation. We feel deeper. We love deeper. We see things in a deeper way. We seek God deeper. Because we've walked through some deep things. We loved, and cried and laughed, and grieved, and celebrated. Together. Deeply.

I talk about my kids here a lot. It's easy to. They are my lights and my love, my precious gifts. But in the middle of all this....this family of 5, this growing and learning and changing and chasing and teaching, and cleaning, and talking, laughing and crying..in the middle of it all, ....it's mostly Brandon and I.  Our marriage and relationship and I try to put that first. 

Before I met Brandon, I was sort of known for my mouth. I said whatever I felt. I think that he, along with time and growth has made me realize it's not worth it to always be heard. That my words or actions don't always have to be recognized.
To just do it.  For no one else, but Him. God.
Thats one of the biggest things Brandon has taught me. To do everything as unto the Lord. Not to man.

He is not showy at all. He doesn't look for credit or praise. Which I respect so much. He isn't overly loud with his words or affections. I used to want him to be. I used to want him to shout from the roof tops for everyone to hear how much he loved me.

But one day, I realized something. Why? That wouldn't be for me. It would be for everyone else. And how genuine would that be? He loves me quietly. That's Brandon. His love is a quiet love. For me. No one else. And I love that about him. That's why, when he reaches his hand for mine in the middle of a crowded room, or kisses me for no reason, no matter who's around, I know it's for me.

And the only people I care to see, do see. Our kids. They see their mom and dad kissing and hugging. They see us say goodbye to each other every morning, and they know we stay up late to talk and just be together. They see us loving one another. They are who matter most.

We have long conversations, I mostly talk first, then he processes it all and talks really slow. I always say, Brandon slows me down and I speed him up. We are so opposite. But it works. Sometimes his slow tendencies gets on my nerves. I want him to hurry up. And sometimes I'm sure my fast forward ways, gets on his nerves. We aren't perfect. But then why would we need God if we were.

Do we argue? Of course. But I think that's a part of a healthy marriage. We disagree. We get on each others nerves. We voice our hurts, and feelings. And then we resolve them.

I learned one of my biggest lessons early on in our marriage in one of our biggest fights. It was one I remember because there have never been any like it again. We were newlyweds, trying to figure one another out. Trying to learn how to live together and everything new that comes with being married. It was a learning experience for me. There was yelling. And let me tell you, Brandon never yells. But we were both trying so hard to be heard. I tried to leave and threatened to go back to my parents {that is now a joke with us} but he wouldn't let me. I wanted to run so bad. My way of facing the issues was to not face them. But he wouldn't let me. I shut myself in our bedroom, hoping he would just go away or leave me a lone. But he didn't. He stayed outside the door, waiting until I would talk to him.

We've never had a fight like that again. Because that night, he taught me something about communication. That it isn't just about being heard, but it's about listening. And that means being quiet. That was a hard lesson to learn, one I am still learning, but one that has been priceless for me. 

I could go on and on about all the ways he loves me and our children, but I won't. He knows. I make sure to tell him and thats what matters. He loves us all so well and it is because of him that I am able to be the person I am. The mom I strive to be. The wife I hope to be. The person, I want to be.

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I look at pictures now and see the depth of these 7 years.
We're still the same....but different in so many ways.

Happy 7 years Babe. I love you so, so much.

11 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful and Godly marriage...
    The world needs more couples like you two!
    May the Lord bless you abundantly for your obedience towards Him and His wonderful will for relationship and marriage.
    You guys shine such an incredible light. One that offers hope to those who don't know what it looks like to cling to Christ within the realm of marriage and too, I am encouraged to continue to fight for True and Right Love in mine and my Hubby's relationship.
    Merry Christmas to you and your family!
    xoxo

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  2. congrats on the 7 years and this post is really really sweet!!! makes me want to go and hug my husband a little more for just being him..

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  3. God is so good in giving us our perfect match. My husband is everything I am not. He makes me better. It sounds as though that's how it is for the two of you as well.
    I wish you many more happy and heathy years together.
    XO

    p.s. I used to be a big mouth too. LOL.

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  4. Such a beautiful post and reflection of your marriage. You two are precious. Happy 7 years :)

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  5. This is such a beautiful and honest post. Thank you for sharing this with us :) Happy seven years to the two of you!!! :)

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  6. Oh gosh... such sweetness. This is just awesome and I know Brandon and your kiddos will love having this to look back on & read. Top picture is just beautimus...love your dress.:)

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  7. Really sweet post. There are so many things we can learn from our husbands...even as we try so many times to change them. Thank you for your honesty! Great pictures too! You look beautiful!

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  8. Beautiful beautiful post.
    You are a beautiful couple... a true reflection of Christ's love.

    Texting you tomorrow..we MUST catch up! I've missed you!!!!!

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  9. i love this post so much. you both glow with the glory of God. so happy for you guys, can't wait to see what amazing things happen in the next 7 years. LOVE YOU.
    hope you and your family have an amazing christmas.

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  10. These types of blog post 7 years of marriage on Thanksgiving. November 24th is our Anniversary date. The year we got married Thanksgiving landed on the day after our wedding. are always attractive and I am pleased to find so many excellent point here in the blog post, writing is just great, appreciation for sharing.

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