Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Seasons and Rhythms

I've had something brewing in me over the last couple of weeks and an email I just read pretty much just confirmed that maybe I need to share it here.

This may not be the most thought out or eloquently written post I've ever written but I'm going to pray God speaks through my words. Cause I think a lot of can be encouraged by this. Especially other moms.

I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about my mornings and how I wanted to be more intentional to get up and make time with the Lord.

My intentions for that are still the same. I still aim to wake up earlier than Bella and Mia {Asher and Brandon leave pretty early in the morning} so that I can get some quiet time in before the day begins. My reason for this is so that I can begin my day with some good worship music, a notebook and pen, and my Bible. I enjoy this time. It's something I love to do. It's not something I do because I feel like I have to, but because for me personally, I know it's something I need to be obedient about in this season I am in. But.

This doesn't always happen. 

I don't always wake up before the girls. Sometimes Bella wakes up really early. Sometimes one of the kids has kept me up a lot the night before. Sometimes I need that extra hour of rest.  Sometimes I just don't get up.

But please know this---I am ok with that.

Something I'm realizing is that there is no perfect balance. I think we all strive for this "balance" that is actually unattainable
I mean think about it. Have you ever lived for more than a day, or week, or season in complete and perfect balance? No. Because once we do find that perfect schedule where we fit everything in, something else gets added and that balance is thrown off. We find ourselves once again striving to find it, juggling life--kids, husband, wife, work, play, family, church, God. Beating ourselves up emotionally because we let it all fall off balance again. 

But what if, instead of always trying to find that perfect balance, we instead gave ourselves grace to just go with the rhythm of life. 

For me that means that I don't always get up early like I'd like to. That my loads of clean laundry get piled up, or that the dryer gets turned on more times than necessary so I can "de-wrinkle" the clothes......for the 4th time. Or Brandon and I don't eat dinner until 9 at night, because it was all we could do to just get the kids clean, fed, and in bed. Some days I don't change out of my pj pants until 3 in the afternoon and some days I spend more time playing with the girls, making messes, then I do cleaning them. And other days, I spend more time cleaning then I do playing.

I mean it happens. To all of us. And I'm ok with the days like that. They may not have been totally balanced, but it was still a good day. Because where I used to beat myself up for not "doing it all" and doing it well, I've learned to instead give myself grace for those days. 

I realized balance won't always be found and find such freedom in just going with the flow, of whatever the day brings....living in the the rhythm of life, rather than always striving for balance. There is so much freedom in this revelation and it's for you to take also.

As the wife to a pastor, our lives can get really busy. During certain seasons, we might have the kids out later than I'd like to. Sundays in particular can be hard because they begin really early and some times end late in the day. This is all part of the season we are in. It's where God has us. And with it, He gives us grace for it. 

Everyone is in a season. Everyone's season is different. 

My little sister just had a baby. She is adjusting to life as a mom. It's a new season for both her and my brother in law. Sometimes she will text me to see what I did that day and when I give her the run down, she will text something back like "wow- super mom!"......This has got me thinking. I'm not super mom. I've just been in this mothering season for a bit longer than she has. I've learned how to divide my time, to multi-task, to prioritize and to just adapt. That "know how" doesn't just come the second you have a baby. It's learned. It doesn't make me a better mom than her. Right now her season is learning how to take a shower while the baby is sleeping or grocery shopping with a newborn. It's all new for her and it's a fun, beautiful season. 

Do you get what I'm saying? We all are not in the same season. We shouldn't compare what God is speaking to us or doing in us, to what He is speaking to and doing in someone else. 

For me, He's been speaking to me about my mornings. About starting off my days with Him. That's just where I'm at right now, and in sharing that I hoped to encourage others. It may not be your season. You may be struggling to just get up in the morning after a night with sick kids or newborn babies. OR this may not be new to you at all. Getting up early for prayer time may be so a part of your lifestyle that it's normal.

My point is this. Your season is not mine and mine is not yours. If there is one thing I hope to encourage most here is to be still to listen to what God is speaking to YOU and don't ever assume it's the same for everyone.

And most of all, give yourself grace. Because it's yours to take, daily! We can strive to be the women God designed us to be. It's ok to do that. But what we have to remember, what I have to remember is that while striving, we're going to make mistakes. We're going to fall. We're going to lose our balance. It will happen. But it's in the getting back up and beginning again that we get that much closer to becoming who we were meant to be.

15 comments:

  1. So true sweet girl. This is so true.

    I was thinking yesterday about exercising. I'm all or nothing. If I can't make it to the gym 4 times a week, I say screw it for the whole week. Then I'm mad because I didn't go at all. But really, I just need to go when I can and be thankful for that hour of exercise and do it.

    Such is life. Same with mornings. I have the desire to get up and have time with the Lord, but it's all or nothing. But starting TOMORROW, I'm going to try it. Just 5 minutes maybe. But it all starts somewhere. And if I don't do it the next day, it's ok. I'll strive to do better the next. Because 5 minutes in the Word is better than 0 minutes in the Word.

    Grace is key. Thanks for pointing that out so beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this! Just yesterday I was struggling with the "rhythm" of my life. I went to a bakery and bought cupcakes for Addi's birthday at school today instead of baking them myself because I was leading a Bible study last night. Then was beating myself up for not staying up late to make them myself. So insignificant in the grand scheme, but even this morning I still felt guilty for buying instead of baking. Thank you for this!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very encouraging and I definaetly needed to read this. I sruggle with mommy guilt and trying to do it all, only to feel mad at myself when that doesnt happen. I love the way you wrote this and put it all into perspective. Look forward to every post of yours.
    xoxo,
    Megan

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great post girl! When reading other momma's blogs it is so easy to try to compare yourself to others and feel bad about yourself! Thanks for the reminder that we are all in different stages in our lives and what one person is going through is not necessarily where I am at! XOXO!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love what you've said here. so many january's, I've committed to starting the one-year-Bible and gotten behind so I've stopped... if I couldn't do it right, I didn't want to do it. no grace there. then a great friend challenged me: "don't let perfection be the enemy". in other words, read it at night or during nap time or read two entries in one day. don't just give because you haven't followed through exactly how you'd hoped! it's so freeing and it allows to experience all that God has for you, because you got up the next and kept going instead of quitting!

    anyway, totally tracking with you. Grace is always the best way :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. laura, what a beautiful post. and as much as i love your whole point and couldn't agree more, i just wanted to say great job on obeying that prompting to speak it out in wisdom and authority. i so agree that it is important for us to be reminded of. balance is an illusion, and an adventurous life with the Lord is anything but predictable, and often uncomfortable. i love your point about seasons and movement, and of course, grace. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. A to the Men! Love this. And truly love you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you Laura, I needed this. This has been one of those days that cleaning has come before playing. I appreciate your honesty in letting other moms know that it's ok to not be "super-mom" all the time. I need to spend my mornings with God but have not made the time. I know I need it and my day would go alot better with it. But GRACE...thank you for reminding me. blessings, Hattie

    ReplyDelete
  9. girl. i so needed this. funny because I can so relate to all that you said. Ive been struggling to give myself grace that my season just changed. I was feeling in my groove (that "know-how" of motherhood like your sister recognized in you) and now I find myself back in the "figure out when to shower" season, with a newborn again. Accepting Gods grace in this season is something i MUST do. and YES, we are al in different seasons and i love that you reminded everyone of that. we each have to remember it to be able to walk in the season fully that God has us in!! love you girl..

    ReplyDelete
  10. I recently had to have a re-epiphany. I say a re-epiphany because I heard a story as a teen, that i thought made me an expert.
    Story: A woman, who was older, all her children were grown with families of there own came to visit a woman with 4 children, between the ages of 3 and 10. Her house was filled with noise and they had retrieved every pillow in the house in order to make a living room fort. The older woman just looked on with pity for the womans lack of rest. When she expressed this to the mother. She simply replied, " We all have a different definitions of Peace and different times in our life."

    As a new mama to my 4 month old, I had a hard time, because apparently I had it in my head that when I became a mom, I wouldn't over sleep, forget to eat, wear my pajamas all day, but be a perfectly organized woman. Yeah Right.Not only is this untrue. Its unnecessary. If it werent for my messy house, I wouldnt have time to sit and rock my little boy. I wouldnt have time to love my husband when he got off work. So I had to decide what was worth the time and effort and stop being hard on myself.

    stafford2010.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. so can relate. So glad to know I'm not the only one who uses the wrinkle out cycle on the dryer more than once!
    Thank you for sharing, you're doing a great job.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you SO much for posting this! It was such an encouragement to me. We all have our own seasons, and the ebb and flow of life is so different for each person. Such a refreshing reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow, this is amazing. Thank you so much!

    ReplyDelete

♥ ♥ ♥