Tuesday, April 17, 2012

5 Things I Don't Want You To Know About Me

 - I am not a morning person and have slacked off on getting up early to have my quiet/prayer time. This week has been the first time in a couple of months that I intentionally woke up to do it. But, even then I struggled to focus and probably "checked" my phone 5 times too many.
- I "check" my phone too much. So I will purposely leave the sound off, leave it in the car, or "lose" it somewhere in the house, so that I'm not tempted to keep "checking" it.
- During the week I make the girls take a nap, or have quiet time on days I really need a break.  Mia always {happily} takes one, but Bella stopped taking naps a long time ago. Some days I will randomly call a "quiet/nap time" because I can't possibly take one more question about the sky, the birds, my hair, my shoes, ....Bella talks non-stop. Non.Stop. And sometimes I just need a break. And I think breaks are good for us all. 
 -Sometimes I forget that Brandon has just worked a full day and when he gets home I sort of "clock out" for the day. He takes over, without complaint and with such selflessness, that sometimes I just let him. This isn't always the case, but some days it is. I'm thankful for a husband like him who loves in the ways that he does. I may forget some things, but I never forget to be thankful for him and his grace.
- I battle hard with my body image. I have since I was a little girl. I can write a post about being who you are and being confident in it, then the next day I'm in tears because of what I'm seeing in the mirror. I take strides forward, only to take one step back. I know this is one of my greatest battles, because it is one my greatest strengths as well. God has been doing a big work in me with this lately. He's working on me and showing me some deeper things. Spiritually, I am strong in who I know Christ has made me. I have walked through fire and come out on the other side. I am confident in who God says I am and who He has called me to be, YET, I fight against my flesh and what I think I should look like. What I want to look like. I really hate admitting this insecurity but at the same time I know it's an area God wants to use and I pray that He does because it's hard to let people know about it.
  
Why am I telling you this? I subscribe to "Inspired to Action" and this was what today's post was about. I loved it because if there is something I always hope and pray to be, it is transparent. Real, relate-able and genuine. No one can relate with perfection. But every person can relate with honesty, struggle, and vulnerability. Even if we battle something different, we can relate with the pain and struggle that comes with every trial.

When we admit and open up about our shortcomings, God can come in and use those very things in our life. I never want to represent my life in a perfect way. It is not perfect. We work daily toward creating a good home life for our children, to loving each other and strengthening our marriage, to loving others and shining God's light through our actions and words. BUT sometimes we fail. We sin. We make mistakes. We argue. We lecture. We aren't perfect. No one is. I don't want to be, because it is in my imperfections that God is made strong and more real in my life. In my neediness and brokenness, He is made strong.

Praise the Lord for that.

Even as I tried to focus, and read and pray this morning, and felt my self struggling to do it, I knew that God's grace was covering me. That He doesn't care whether I give him 2 hours or 20 minutes. He just wants my time. My heart. Me. And today, I woke up. Yesterday I didn't. Today I did and there's something to that. God doesn't want our works, He wants us.

It's easy to think your alone. It's so easy to compare. Easy to read a blog, or stalk someones facebook and think they have it all together.   But it's just not the truth. And if more of us are willing to show the broken parts of us, the need for grace, our down falls and struggles, then light is exposed. Truth is revealed and made known. Christ is more greater seen in us and best of all He can use it for His good.  That's my biggest desire of all.
Use it Lord. Use me. Every part.

What is one thing you don't want me to know about you?

23 comments:

  1. Great post, I can relate to everyone of the areas you listed

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  2. A very beautiful post! I 100% can relate to every single one of the items you listed! You're not alone :)

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  3. I loved this post so much!! I don't have kiddos or a hubs... but I "check" my phone far too much and struggle every day with my body image.

    This was so inspirational to me! XOXO

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  4. i can so relate to all of those things.

    i have struggled with my self esteem and body image to the extreme - and i am not so good when it comes to comparing myself with others either.

    i love the idea that we ALL win when we can be honest about our flaws...because,you are right, we all have them.

    awesome post!

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  5. thanks for sharing. I can relate to the self image struggle. I wouldn't want you to know that I am disciplined in just about every area of my life, except for the most important one which is spending time in the word and prayer. I don't know what that is such a struggle for me, but am so thankful that we have a forgiving and loving God that wants us back every time.

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  6. Great Post! Thanks for sharing those details of your life.. It is inspiring to know we are all not perfect!

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  7. Oh man, this was great. My absolute favorite bloggers are the ones who are open and honest and vulnerable, not afraid to share things like you just did, trusting God to use it for His glory. That's what I aim to do when I write.

    I also struggle so much with my body image and checking my phone too often. I purposely have to leave it in the other room sometimes to distance myself.

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  8. Wonderful Post Laura. 1st off... YOU ARE GORGEOUS! =)
    I struggle with being lazy with my free time and yes I blame my iphone for that ;)

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  9. you're speaking my language today :) transparency and the plea for God to use me is always at the top of my heart's priorities. i think for me, it's so redemptive to offer myself and watch God use my weaknesses and vulerability...it helps me know it was not a waste. i love how God doesn't waste a single crumb of our stories once we offer them to Him. it is we who limit Him when we keep ourselves closed up, and hoard our secrets in shame.

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  10. oh my goodness, girl, you are writing about ME. seriously, these things have been on my heart, and these things are my downfall. thanks for sharing your heart.

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  11. I adored your transparency in this post! I will admit that I can relate to each and everyone you posted! I may have to take the "challenge" might be good for me! Thanks darlin'!! <3 Leish

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  12. I love this post on so many levels. Thank you for your honesty/vulnerability. I too struggle with body image...and my prayer too, is Lord use me above all else.:) Love you.

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  13. beautiful post Laura! I struggle with getting up and doing my quiet time with the Lord. I struggle with guilt over that. And I TOO often lose patience with my little ones. But I continue to strive for excellence and let God cover the rest.

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  14. Quiet times are the way to go for young children - I totally plan on having the kids I'm nannying for this summer do that every day.

    Thanks for the reminder to find my worth in Christ and not in my body image :)

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  15. i'm so thankful that Christ's power is perfected in our weakness. I too often try to earn God's love or approval instead of just loving him and being thankful for that his work on the cross paid it all.

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  16. Yeah... pretty sure I could have written this whole post and every bit of it stayed the same.
    Are we the same person?????? :)
    Love you so much friend and am thankful for your heart.
    P.S. How did the run go today? We've been gone all day and didn't get home until dark. So tomorrow is my running day... going to aim for a nice slow 2 miles. We'll see!

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  17. I absolutely LOVE this! honestly is freedom! love you lady:)

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  18. Hi sweet lady! I found your blog via oh, hello friend and am SO GLAD that I did! I love finding sisters in Christ who blog; it's like finding a diamond in the rough. I'm your newest follower! xoxo

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  19. I don't want you to know that sometimes I feel like I'm a pretend Christian, and wish I knew how to get that feeling to go away.

    New follower!

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  20. love.this.post. I know I and I am sure almost everyone can relate. Thanks for being honest. Often in the blogging world I think people are led to believe this blogger here has a perfect life, or that blogger there never has a bad day. it's good to keep it real.

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  21. Laura I could have written this. Thanks for sharing your heart. I'm going to look in to inspired into action.

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  22. I love reading what you write and i think all women can relate. I never would have thought you would have a body image issue, I mean your beautiful and have a gorgeous figure. Consider yourself lucky that your not stuck in a body that looks like mine. One thing you dont know about me, I struggle with an eating disorder, it blurs the most important things in life and I get tired of the guilty feeling I have at the end of the day, instead of bieng thankful for another day. Thanks for making it clear.

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  23. beyond touched by this post. my heart desires so much to be used by HIm and to bring Glory to Him, and yet I still have the hardest times getting my quiet time in. I think that most of us can relate to body images issues. I have struggles in this area for most of my adult life and am just now seeing God reveal himself to me in that area and how much he loves me the way I am, nit the way I think I should be. Thanks for keeping' it real. Love you!

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