Thursday, June 7, 2012

Super Mom

it has felt like total chaos over here the last couple of days.
even now as I attempt to string some quick words together my kids are running circles around me.
one is chasing the other and mia is tagging behind them, laughing uncontrollably and pretending to know what is going on.

i was battling this chaos at first. wanting order and tidiness and organization and some routine.
at the end of the first day of asher being officially home for summer,  i told brandon "i just need to find a new routine, i've gotten so used to having just bella and mia home, but now we need to find a new one."

boys are so different then girls. the dynamic around the house goes from quiet play and pretend, crowns and baby dolls....to running and wrestling and screaming and jumping off of anything that is at least 2 ft off the ground. doesn't matter that that might be his little sisters dainty doll house.

i had all these plans and expectations and ideas in my head for what our days would look like...
i kept trying so hard to bring back the quiet, the routine, the order.
only to find myself more worn out then i have been in a very long time.
feeling like a failed mommy.
don't you hate when we put that on ourselves?
this idea of "super mom".... it bugs me. do i think im a good mom? heck yes. do i have good days and some even better days, only to have a bad one too? yep.
we're all human. not super.
i feel like that term gives a built in comparison, of being better than other more "average" moms. and i just don't think it's realistic when it comes to motherhood. i think we are all good moms trying to let the better days outweigh the bad ones and we should encourage that in one another rather than seek out this super mom title.

in the middle of motherhood, im also just a girl. who loves to run, loves small windows of quiet, and reading a good book, and walking around target alone. a girl who loves to create and improve and love. putting on some worship music and packaging orders.... that is my idea of me time. i enjoy it and i love it.


but ive found it hard to find the time lately.
i fully believe in being present and giving your kids your time and attention and focus and talking and listening and just plain loving.
but what about the bits of time we steal for ourselves. for the things that keep us going. like running and creating. should we feel guilty for that time?
i don't think so.

ive been very blessed with my business, even more recently, and for just a minute in the midst of this chaos i thought maybe i needed to let something go. maybe something needed to give. do i really need to take 30-45 minutes to go for a run? is that selfish?
is my business improving the lives of our family? is it taking away or is it adding?

realistically the answer is yes. not long ago i prayed for something that would allow me to stay home with my kids and also add value into the life of our family. and quickly i remembered my own words. that this balance we all seek---maybe it doesn't exist.
rhythm and seasons. those exist.
and right now is a busy one. a chaotic one. a really good, crazy one with 3 little munchkins chasing each other and me stealing bits of time in between to do my own thing.
and thats ok.
it's ok.

see i think these lessons and revelations are what makes us better moms. learning and growing and always striving. giving our kids "us"... just being fully present when we are with them. our time. us, thats all they want.
Elaborate craft times, or hours of pretend play, or fun summer days at the pool....  those are all well and good, but they have nothing to do with super.

and at the end of the day when your little girls wraps her arms around you and says "your the best mom ever"...you realize that it's all grace.
that HE is the super. He is the one who fills us at the end of the day when we feel like we failed.He wakes us up in the morning with new mercies and He says, hey it's a new day--it's not going to be perfect, or in order or routine, but it's going to be a good one, and if you let me help you, if you take me in to your day and embrace the chaos---it'll be a good one too. a really good one.

10 comments:

  1. I love this! I work outside the home, so it's hard to be "Super Mom" after 8 long hours away. I decided to just be MOM. My kids help me cook dinner. We play games while picking up the messes of the day. They don't care what it is that we're doing ~ just as long as we're doing it together. I think that makes THEM super! :)

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  2. I'm not a mom (yet) because I'm far too selfish to give potential children all of my time and attention. I think I'll grow out of it as I age a bit, but I think needing time alone is healthy. We have to recharge our batteries. Rest. I did a whole devotion on rest last week, and it put things in perspective for me. God wants us to be active and to make a difference, but we can also worship him through allowing ourselves to rest. It was a much needed blessing in very 'God-perfect timing.'

    Last night, I was trying to get work done, and I was seated at the desk in the office. My poor, sweet nephew was tossing his paper airplanes and had hit my arm several times. I asked him to go elsewhere with his airplanes, but he refused. The final time he hit my arm, I was writing in Sharpie on promotional materials for one of my upcoming events. He put a little bump in one of my letters. I crumpled his paper airplane and threw it in the waste bin. I will never forget the look on his face. He was horrified by what I had done in my moment of weakness. I learned a lesson in patience last night. God is so patient with us as we stumble around, throwing our 'paper airplanes,' without listening. He doesn't crumple them. Instead, he gives us paper to make more and shows us how to fold them.

    Take time for yourself. Go for a run. Take an afternoon stroll through Target. Go out with your girlfriends. It's healthy. Your babies know that you love them, and you are a super mom.

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  3. Laura I loved your post today. It was just what I needed to hear. My kiddos are older than yours but still need so much from me that I don't often take time for a peaceful "me" moment. It is so important though. Even as I take time to catch up on some blogging stuff, I am thinking of the thousand other things I need to do. Anyway, thatnk you sweet lady with the big heart. Your words were a gift today!!

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  4. hey girl! I have an AMAZING print out about this! super mom vs. abiding mom. :)
    http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2011/12/super-mom-vs-abiding-mom.html

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  5. Yes! Yes! Yes! What beautiful words. Thank you.

    "i think we are all good moms trying to let the better days outweigh the bad ones and we should encourage that in one another rather than seek out this super mom title." <<<<<THIS. YES!

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  6. Such a great blog!!! I love it!

    Would you like to follow each others blog via GFC and Bloglovin in order to keep in touch?

    Lots of love,

    www.nicoleta.me

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  7. absolutely a great post! i can relate to guilt when i feel like i have failed at being the perfect mom. the crazy thing is that i project that onto myself - no matter if i take time to run or not - my son thinks i am a perfect mom. it is me who doubts, not him. God is placing that on my heart lately...i take on these things and this guilt when it is not reality.
    running and taking that exercise time for me makes me a more patient mom and a happier person. that is just who i am, and my husband and son think that i am perfect.
    it is easy to lose that though - and be distracted by the enemy who would have us believe that we don't quite measure up.
    well - i have never met you Laura but i feel your heart..and it is the heart of a good mom.

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  8. Just what I needed to be reminded of. Thank you!

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  9. Love this! Been so convicted of the dangers of "comparing" and not find our approval in life from Him! And it's been everywhere I've been reading: devotionals, posts, blogs! Something I just discovered was "maximize your mornings" I'm struggling to do this but it's a GREAT PLAN! It's with the hello morning challenge. I was invited to a group so I'm not sure how it all works....but, I highly recommend checking it out!

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