Tuesday, September 11, 2012

no pressure blogging

i think if you were to read between the lines of some of my posts in the last couple of months, you might see that i've been struggling just a bit with this whole blogging thing.

ive been reminding myself of why i started it to begin with.
reminding myself that it's ok to go days without blogging.
that it's ok to "un-plug" and just live life.
i mean how did we do it before twitter, facebook, instagram & blogs anyway?
we just lived right? without a thought of how to document it and re-tell it.
we just lived.

im going to be honest.
its hard to keep up with this whole blogging thing.



i have never been the competitive type.
in high school i tried out for the cheerleading squad and didn't make it.
me and my best friend carla both didnt make it.
so we went to her house and made brownies.
i could totally joke that i was drowning my sorrows in brownies, but id be lying.
cause truth is, i didnt really care that much.
i knew who i was.
even though i wasn't totally secure in that person yet, i knew who i was,
and sports and organized competitive group things, were not my thing...

i did play softball for like two weeks though.
correction. i practiced for the season for two weeks. then on the day of our first game, with my family there taking up two rows of bleachers, the administration decided to come tell me i couldn't play due to my grades and that i was on academic probation.
i guarantee you my grades were suffering because of my socializing.

because while im not competitive, i am social.
and that is a part of blogging that i love.
....connecting, and encouraging and nurturing new friendships.
i never thought i would say it but, blogging has actually allowed me to meet some pretty great people that i would now consider friends.

Trust me when i say that about a year and a half ago, if you told me i would have friends that i made from the internet, i would have laughed at you. because only people who end up being stalked and killed on lifetime movies, make friends on the internet.



or so i thought.
but this blog has proven me wrong.
and never have i been proven more wrong than with project hope. watching how women have stretched from across cities, states and even countries for one cause. one heart.
i realized even more, the power of connection. of using our platforms, to unite us together for one purpose.
it is a powerful tool. And one that i can only pray i use wisely.

with all of that said, i have decided not to keep moving forward with bits of splendor mondays.
initially i started it as a way to connect us all as community. to see the beauty of the little things in our week. to capture and preserve those things we want to remember.



and my heart is still to do that.
but somewhere along the way, i found it to be more of an obligation for me. and i never ever want to blog out of obligation.
because to me, that is not me being real.

when i found myself having to put off starting a movie with brandon the night before,or cutting my morning quiet time short, in order to get the link up, i started to really look at my heart for it and why i was doing it.

monday i didn't get the link and post up.
i probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, except that i got a couple of emails questioning whether i was going to post it at all.
this is where my thinking really started. i am super conscious of letting people down. in the back of my head, i have this nagging feeling that when im not blogging, or not staying committed to a link up...im letting people down.
and i really don't like that feeling.
it makes me feel pressured.
and feeling pressured to blog should never happen.



the truth is, i had no reason for not getting it posted.
except that i was just loving the drop of temperatures we had here, and took advantage of the nesting that it kicked in by cleaning my house top to bottom. lighting my fall candles, and working on crafts with the girls. i could very well have stopped what i was doing to sit down and write a post. i had time to. i had opportunity to. but i didn't.
because i've decided to never let this blog keep me from living.
that may sound dramatic, but trust me. there are many times where i have sat in front of my computer screen, or stared into my phone and all the while life was still going on around me.
real life.

so heres what i decided.
i do want to preserve this life im living.
i want to cherish it, and remember it, and capture still frames of it forever,
but most of all,
i want to just live it.




when i first began blogging i had no idea about link ups, or tweeting my posts, or advertising, and sponsoring, and giveaways, and comments. i just knew what God told me to do. and that was to tell our story.

sometimes God has to bring me back to that organic, no pressure, naive place where i once was. when the only person i thought was reading this was my mom. 
and sometimes, its so he can bring out of me what he needs to. 

so here is what i will keep doing...
ill keep blogging about our life... the little and big things.
ill keep sharing things that are on my heart.
ill keep proving my love for target and sonic all the live long day.
and i'll keep doing it when/if i feel like it.
because thats just me.
not scheduled, or forced.
{and probably also slightly terrified of commitment}

you may or may not come along with me.
unlike me, unfollow me, whatever....
either way its ok.
if you need me, ill be baking me some brownies.
xo









60 comments:

  1. How about you make me some of your delish lemon bars instead:)
    Thankful for you and your honesty sweet friend!!!!!!

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    1. I could totally go for some lemon bars myself! Start heading this way ;)

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  2. So know where you are coming from! This is exactly why I slowed down on blogging... when it started to interfere with my time with my little fam I knew I needed to slow it down. I hated the pressure... but at the same time I love the people I have met! :)

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    1. so glad you could relate!
      it's a balance we all need to find for sure.

      congrats on your sweet new baby friend! so so exciting!!

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  3. Since I have no idea about the blogging world, I will happily follow you whenever your heart tells you to post!! :) And I had to laugh about the first softball game incident. I can't believe I've never heard that story because it sounds like something that would have happened to me!! The non-competitive side of you is what makes you so easy to be around and virtually follow. It's your good heart and good intentions that makes us want to be a better friend, wife, mom, sister, daughter, runner, etc. I hope that you continue to blog for yourself, and sometimes for our inspiration (no matter how often it is)!! :)

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    1. I never told you the story Crystal!?
      Oh it was a good one. We still laugh about it.

      I love you crystal. you make me smile. you never ever change.

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  4. Good for you, sweet friend! It's really a share when this blogging thing becomes so complicated! Proud of you for drawing lines and can't wait to follow along!

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  5. You have such a beautiful soul.

    "but somewhere along the way, i found it to be more of an obligation for me. and i never ever want to blog out of obligation.
    because to me, that is not me being real."

    Those sentences slapped me in the face. Thank you :)

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    1. Well I didn't want to slap you...Haha!

      Glad you could relate though. I think it's something we all have to find...a balance...and not just in the blogging world, you know?

      Thanks Liz!

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  6. I'll be right over with chick fil a or sonic and we can share those brownies! this post is PERFECT for where I am right now...and my blog is not NEAR what yours is, but I still feel that pressure. That's not what it's about. Thanks friend. Thankful for you! enjoy this day!

    xoxoxoxox

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    1. Thank annie.
      One of these days we will totally have a chikfila date!

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  7. Oh my LAWD! Can I scream DITTO from my rooftop? I am in Texas you know, maybe you would hear me?!?
    Seriously, sweet friend. This is a FABULOUS post. SO raw and honest. I love it.
    It SO spoke to me today.
    I thank you for that.
    LIVE life to the FULLEST!

    XO~
    Amanda :)

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    1. Try it! I'll tell you if I heard you ;)
      Where in Texas are you?!

      So glad this spoke to you!

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  8. Girl. Amen & amen. You said it so perfectly and also now I wish I was your neighbor so we could shop at Target and Sonic together and make brownies while are kids play :) There are days I'm totally tempted to just stop blogging but like you said, the social side and community of it keeps me coming back. Love you for posting this!

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    1. That day sounds perfect to me, Target, Sonic, Brownies---you just cant go wrong!

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  9. I found you just a few weeks ago as I was starting my own charity work...and I was just in awe of you and your work. (I even told my husband about you, and Project Hope.) I totally understand where you are coming from with the blogging thing. I believe that your blog will become richer as you continue living the life you really, really want to live. And the life God is gifting to only you. You are a light, and the Holy Spirit shines through you girl! Keep up just what you are doing, shooting from the heart! Best of luck and prayers for you and your family.

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  10. Best post ive read in a long time.

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  11. I think that the best bloggers I read only post a few times a week, because they are only posting what is real. I love this, and I love following along with you, AND I love that you remembered me and that I was pregnant and asked about my baby. You have a beautiful soul and I am just glad you will continue to share it with the world.

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    1. I actually think about you a lot! You were on of the firsts to reach out to me for Project Hope and it meant so much!
      Glad you and your family are doing well :)

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  12. thank you, this makes me feel o.k. about the fact that I have never scheduled a post, I just blog when I feel it. this post was beautifuly written.

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  13. i like this post. thank you. and i want some brownies now.
    ps. the kinds of blog i like, are the ones that are most real. just be you. :)

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    1. I'm with you. Those are the kind of blogs I read as well, and the kind I want to be :)

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  14. Admiration for following your heart! Love how you laid it all out there point blank! You put yourself out there and share your story for those of us to read and I personally would like to say THANKS! Thank you for you and sharing your story and your life!

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  15. I love your heart! Keep it up girl :)

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  16. While reading this, I was thinking yes, yes..um, yes..uh-huh, yeah, etc. I don't know why we so easily get caught up in this blogging "world" (it really feels like another world at times), but I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling the "pull" to be a certain kind of blogger...a popular blogger or to get more traffic, ...all that stuff that really doesn't matter. The world won't end if I don't get to do a certain review or sponsorship because my PR isn't high enough. I really needed to be reminded of this today, so thanks :) And your little girls are adorable!

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    1. No the world will not end my friend! haha!
      Just be you. Thats all God constantly reminds me to do.

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  17. Love it.. I have been feeling the same way! Thanks for putting it into words..

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    1. So glad you can relate! Thank you sweet friend.
      xo

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  18. Very nice post :) I quit facebook today, and it was quite liberating! I just wanted to let you know that your blog has served its purpose... Of helping those like you in need. We had a stillborn baby girl at 32 weeks, Rowan. It was February 28th of this year. I'm glad I came accross your blog, here is our family blog if you want to see a picture of our baby girl: funkyfreshfraziers.blogspot.com. Thanks again!

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    1. I "quit" facebook about 1 1/2 ago and yes it is liberating! But one thing I can to do was figure out WHY I needed to quit and deal with those issues. You know? I could write a whole post on that. haha.

      I am sorry about your sweet girl. so so sorry.
      sweet Rowan is in the arms of Jesus and you will be her mommy in heaven one day. Don't ever forget that!

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  19. Good for you! If anyone doesn't agree, they need to remember that they're not you, they haven't had your experiences, and they're not living your life. At the end of the day, you have to look in the mirror and know that YOU did the right thing for YOU and YOUR family. Have fun on your adventures and living your life!

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  20. you said it friend. loved this post. and a great big thank you for always keepin it real.
    xxO

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    1. love you kelly.
      can we meet and hug one day??!

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  21. i love your discernment. the competitive nature of blogging is such a turn off for me as well.
    thank you for sharing your heart. this blessed me.
    ps. i still wish we were neighbors.

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    1. Major turn off. But like anything we have to look for the good and thats what I'm trying to do. The good outweighs the bad. You are a good :) So glad I found you friend. Love you. Move to Texas. Thanks.

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  22. I know how you feel so much- I hate blogging with an 'audience' in mind, or feeling obliged and guilty for not doing it. I started because I wanted to write and loved doing it, not 'for' anything. It gets easy to forget living...

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    1. Yes, blogging with an audience! I have done that too! I do so much better when I just forget who is reading this and just write straight from my heart.
      Just keep being you!

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  23. I just found out about your blog. I really love it! Thanks for your inspiring words a positive views on life. This was a great post. Sometimes I get caught up in blogging because I know people check my blog everyday. I need to remember that I am blogging for myself as well. We have to keep our priorities straight. Thanks for the post! I am excited I found your blog.

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    1. yes, i think once we take on the mentality that we have to blog every day, then a less better generic version of us comes out in those posts. you know?
      i am so glad you found me too! happy to "meet" you :)

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  24. I have definitely been feeling this way all summer. The desire to blog a lot just hasn't been there...because I realized I was trying too hard to be like other bloggers...and I didn't start blogging to be like everyone else. I started blogging to be me and to record my life. Thanks for sharing your heart! xoxo

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    1. exactly! good for you for recognizing it!

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  25. Amen. I could not have popped over here at a better time. I totally agree with everything you said about the friends made online and the pressures. I just announced a little blog hiatus of mY own because ive had such severe morning sickness. I an so glad im not alone.

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    1. sweet hanna. i think a break is perfect timing for you right now. you have a lot on your plate my friend. focus on that baby of yours. im praying for you!

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  26. I'm glad you've found what is the right thing for you! That's what you need to be doing!! And I'm sure you'll find so many identifying with you along the way. I know I do!! Take care!!

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  27. Well I can honestly say...that was brave...great post! There are many days when I have felt the same way...I will miss your linky on Monday. Forced me to come here when life was hectic but I surely understand!! God Bless you with your family.
    Laurie @ Pride in Photos

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    1. Thank you Laurie. I will kind of miss it too, but I know in my heart it was the right choice. I enjoyed getting to know people like you through it.
      Hope you will keep visiting! xo.

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  28. So glad I read this post. Way too often, I feel bad that I don't blog on a regular basis (i.e. everyday). I have to remind myself that I blog for ME. No one else. I will do it when I want to, darn it! :) thanks for sharing this!

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  29. This is exactly what I needed to read! I have been feeling the same way. "But most of all, I just want to live it." :)

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    1. It's true isn't it?! I have found the "lure" away from my computer has been stronger than the one towards it. And I'm totally ok with that.

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  30. I haven't had time to blog or read blogs lately. I've felt pressured because of that, especially because I paid for a blog redesign, I bought a domain, I paid for hosting. I've blogged in private for 10+ years and it's been such a great outlet for me. I've ranted, I've gushed, I've documented my life in a natural way. No pressure. No audience to worry about. I just wrote for myself.

    Since I've started writing publicly and actually telling people about my blog, my writing experience has changed. And I don't want it to. So I've been reminding myself lately that if I'm starting a blog post out of pressure and if it's stressing me out and if the words aren't coming to me...just walk away. Only write a post when I feel compelled to. Say exactly what I want to say and don't worry about having to phrase things a certain way or making sure my structure is perfect. I'm not going for a Pulitzer. I'm just writing in my journal.

    That's what my blog is. A journal. A scrapbook. No pressure. I'll write what I want, when I want. And that's fine.

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  31. Can I just say A-M-E-N to this post?! :)

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  32. I am a brand new follower, & absolutely love every post I've seen, but this was by far my favorite! I have to agree with the girl above me, AMEN! You said it very well.

    -Kayla
    www.mykindofyellow.blogspot.com

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  33. great post!! i loled at you and carla not making the cheer leading squad and opting for brownies as a back up plan. haha

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