Monday, October 15, 2012

California

 
Last Friday Brandon and I had the fun opportunity to go out to Corona California for a few days to visit with a church called South Hills. Our church here in San Antonio {where Brandon currently serves as associate pastor} will soon become a South Hills campus and in September of next year Brandon and I will actually be starting our own South Hills church somewhere here on the North West side of San Antonio.

I remember so clearly that when I first met Brandon, one thing he said to me before we got really serious was "you know I will always be in ministry, so that means you will always be in ministry too."


In other words he was letting me know then, that this would be our life. Ministry. At the time I was so love struck with this boy that I was like "oh yeah, of course, uh huh, ministry, yeah, sounds great"

Over the years I've been stretched and grown in so many ways. I used to pray that God would give me a compassion for people. A love for them that was so strong and so real. Because I wanted so badly to be used by him, for him, and in a real, genuine, from the heart way....with a passion for those who are lost and hurting.



9 years ago, being a young and in love girl, I would never have wished for what has come my way over the years. But 9 years ago I could never have known how it would all change me. Completely. And I would never have guessed that I would one day be thankful for how it did.

Even though this has been a prayer of ours for a while, the timeline for how God has made it all happen is perfect. It always is isn't it? And we are really excited to see how it begins to unfold over the next few months.

I'm not going lie, it is a tiny bit scary for me. I get nervous about not being the typical "pastors wife"...or about the responsibilities that come with leading a church. But something I've recently resolved within myself to do, is not to focus on what I am not, and instead on what I am.

And what I am is a girl who is genuinely seeking after God's heart. A sinner, a mistake maker, a mess...an imperfect girl totally reliant on a perfect God. A girl who loves people and wants them to know God's love for them in return.



California gave us a chance to see and hear from the hearts of the people who will be praying with us and supporting us when we step out. It was really good for us to be able to connect with them on a deeper, more familiar level.

It was hard to leave the kids for a week though. I cried like a big baby when I had to say goodbye to Mia. I've never been away from her for longer than one night. She is basically just another part of me. Like an extra arm or something. But I got daily pictures and text updates and they all did great. We are extremely fortunate to have family who love our kids like we do. It was so good to be away knowing they were in good hands.

I was definitely having a pity party up until we boarded the plane to take off for Cali. Then it hit me that we have no idea when we would get to go on a trip just Brandon and I again, and that I am always pushing to live in the moment and be glad for where you are.
So I slapped my self upside the head, told myself the kids would be fine and made a choice to enjoy my time with Brandon.



And I did.
We ate a lot. We met some amazing new people. We ran. We shopped. We went sight seeing in New Port Beach, Anaheim, and Laguna Beach {I kept looking for L.C}
We slept a lot in between meeting times and places to be. Literally I slept like a baby on this trip. I haven't had that much uninterrupted sleep since Asher was born. No lie. Also, I ate cheesecake for breakfast one morning.

And I got to meet my sweet blog friend Leslie. She took us to a yummy restaurant right on the beach. It was so fun to meet her. Sometimes you forget these people you get to know on the internet are real....like it's sort of bizarre to see them in person. but I'm here to tell you that they are real ;) Leslie was just as beautiful on the outside as she was the inside.


California was refreshing and eye opening in more ways than one. I'm super excited for where God is taking mine and Brandon's path.
But there is nothing like coming home to your own bed and your own home and your squishy kids.
We got home late Thursday night so the next morning I went to get Mia from her crib, and she was so happy to see me, then stopped for a second, reached for my face and touched my cheek, as if to make sure I was real. I couldn't even handle it. I melted like putty in her little hands.

We picked up Asher out of school early and went to our native land---chikfila and Target.
California obviously has both of these but it's just not the same as your own, you know?


It's good to be home with these 3 turkeys.

xo







20 comments:

  1. wow! ..this was so exciting to read!! my husband & i are youth directors at our church & hope to one day plant a church (always feels crazy to say/type/etc)! we have many friends that have planted & i'm so proud & excited for them—i love to support what they are doing!! it's a big undertaking & i am so inspired by them & their heart for people! it sounds like you guys had a wonderful trip :) i hope your time without your littles wasn't too hard...but they do look happy you're home ;) xo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was such a great post to read, Laura. I love your heart---your genuine desire to extend yourself to others, to truly love beyond your family and friends. I'm so glad that this trip for Him, allowed you and Brandon to enjoy quality time with one another, reconnecting and truly resting, if only for a few days.

    Have a beautiful week!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seriously it looks like you had a beautiful time! And I loved what you said about being a pastors wife..your heart is good, girl!!...And eat EVERYTHING up on vacay I say! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Looks like so much fun! I'm glad y'all had fun! SOunds like a great trip! I'm sure God has big big things in store for you and Brandon! Y'all are an amazing couple!

    ReplyDelete
  5. its so hard to leave your kids! i totally know what you mean. but it's necessary!! :) and getting away while doing God's work is just ideal!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a great post. I know exactly what you mean about being in love and saying "yeahhh definitely the ministry woo!" I didn't realize that 6 months later I would be moving to an Indian Reservation in a different country! ha! But God is good and by His grace I am loving it so much even in the midst of hardships! (Because we KNOW there are hardships!) I wanted to tell you too that one of the best books I've ever read is The Privilege by Kay Smith. It talks about her 60 + years of being a pastor's wife, incredible insight and encouragement. Have a great day, happy you're reunited with your little ones!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for sharing this. It looks like God may be leading my husband (us) into full time ministry and sometimes it's a lot to take in. Like you, I often feel like I am not (fill in the blank) enough. I keep having to remind myself that is sort of the point! I am not enough but Christ living through me is MORE than enough.
    I had no warning though, the man is in recreation management for goodness sakes! Oh the things our God does!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for sharing this. It looks like God may be leading my husband (us) into full time ministry and sometimes it's a lot to take in. Like you, I often feel like I am not (fill in the blank) enough. I keep having to remind myself that is sort of the point! I am not enough but Christ living through me is MORE than enough.
    I had no warning though, the man is in recreation management for goodness sakes! Oh the things our God does!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is hard to be away from littles, especially when they are not in school yet. However, it's good to get away with the hubs, eat & have uninterrupted sleep! :) Congrats on adventure with new church. I enjoy and am blessed by your blog & love for Christ. Hattie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much hattie! I appreciate you and all of your encouragement along the way :)

      Delete
  10. such a great post! my husband leads worship and I never really realized that it would effect me too...b/c we area team and a team in christ...it really really does :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Can't wait to see the blessings god has in store for you both!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love my California too!!! So I just saw that you're training for a half marathon. Need any tips??? I'm a personal trainer/nutritionist. Lots of expertise in this area. check me out! www.healthybitsbites.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. Fellow church planter's wife here=)
    It is so hard
    and so good.

    Even compared to the associate pastor position my husband had before...it's like seeing a room in the dark vs seeing it lit up. Maybe with some twinkle lights=)

    He is faithful!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I loved everything about this post but mostly your heart. Especially love the imperfect girl totally reliant on a perfect God. You are going to be a wonderful 'pastor's wife!'

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. This post is amazing. I've just found your blog and I'm clicking "follow" immediately after posting this because I love your honesty. Being in full-time ministry would be SO hard; and I love that you don't feel pressured to deny that. Your take on where you are, what you have to offer, and how God is helping you do that is all just so refreshing and beautiful!

    Love,
    Sarah
    the Reverie blog

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow. Your heart for the Lord and for the people around you is so encouraging to read about! Glad you had a good time here in Cali!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is so Awesome! Everything! You , Your family, this blog, real life documented. I had no idea what a blog even was. Now seeing all the pictures reading about your struggles, experiences, family, Faith. It warms my Heart.You Inspire me :) It makes me want to start a blog myself. For so many reasons. But how would i even start.. i struggle with finding the right words to express myself and i am no where near a good writer... anyway. Thank You for opening your Heart and letting us into your Life.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Leslie is one of my favorite people. And last year I was at that very same spot with her and a bunch of other blogging friends during BlogSugar weekend. Such fond memories!
    Thanks for sharing your heart. Its a tender one and God will use you mightily:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Laura! I just came across your blog this evening, not exactly sure how I found it, but I'm SO glad that I did! I just got done reading about your two little babies who are now in Jesus's arms.. I am in tears! What a strong and inspirational woman you are! That is so brave of you to share your story. And now I just finished reading this post and was giggling to myself over the comment your husband said to you: "you know I will always be in ministry, so that means you will always be in ministry too." because my husband has said that VERY same comment to me! My husband right now is a youth pastor at a small church here in Oregon. We moved here a little over a year ago, from Arizona, so that he could attend George Fox to get his Masters in Theological Studies. Starting in December he is going to be looking all over to find a full time pastoral job. Just like you I get nervous about not being the typical "pastor's wife" and with December approaching soon and the thought of starting all over in a new place and a new church those nervous feelings can really get me! I just for the first time lead an all girl's book study with the girls from the youth group and I was so completely nervous but then felt like God whispered to me that the Lord is with me so what do I have to fear?!? I loved what you said about instead focus on what I AM. So true and so encouraging! Anyways before I go on and on I am just so happy to have found your blog! I feel like I can learn a lot from you! :) Bobbie

    ReplyDelete

♥ ♥ ♥