And some times I even re-tell them to myself. In bed at night when I can't sleep, I begin to write stories in my head.
In fact, telling stories was one of the ways I would get through my long runs. That probably sounds so silly. I told someone this the other day and she looked at me like I was crazy. But to me it's not crazy. To me it's natural to tell a story in my head. I would re-tell the story of the day I had Asher. Or the time I held Faith, or the day I met Brandon. Those kind of stories. The one's that have changed me. I like to re-tell them. To remember them and describe them. Even if just in my head.
I think a lot about the stories my kids will tell one day. About their mom. What will they say? What will they remember? What stories will they tell to their kids.
Bella has this thing where she asks me all of the time "did you do this when you were a little girl too?"
She loves to hear me tell her stories from when I was little, or from when she was a little baby. I think if that little girl could just sit in my lap and hear me tell her stories all day long, she would be perfectly happy.
There were many reasons for why I started running....Why I wanted to run a half marathon. At some points it became a competitive thing for me. I got caught up in my time and pace and all kinds of non sense. One day when I was struggling through one of my runs, a thought ran through my head "Why are you doing this?"
Why was I doing it? I had to ask myself that and really decide why.
Because when it got hard, and I wanted to give up....When I really didn't want to put my shoes on and get outside, when I really just wanted to stay in bed....I had to remember why I was doing this. And my time or pace or any other comptetive aspect had nothing to do with it.
One day they will tell that story about their mom. They will not only tell this story, but they will tell them all...the good ones, the funny ones, the not so good ones and the really sad ones......And it will all make even more sense then, why she ran this race.
I imagine Bella holding her little girl one day,...she'll tell these stories about her mom. And that.....that is why on the days I wanted to give up, the times I wanted to stop, the moments I questioned myself, I kept on going.
To give them a story to tell.
I am working on a recap post of the race... things I learned...the good, the bad and everything in between! Look for it this week. But I will say I loved it and am already thinking about my next one!