That's where my thoughts go sometimes. And so I become really quiet. I sort of retract in a way, because there is so much going on in my heart and my mind and I don't know how to express it or let it out. So I don't.
I scroll through instagram and twitter and down the line of my google reader. I skim through posts about outfits and crafts and DIY's. I ignore the stirring. The pushing. The heavy. I turn on the tv and sit through an hour of sister wives, completely confused and totally wondering how one wife wouldn't want to punch the other in the face.
I try to ignore. Because everyone else seems to be. Everyone else seems to live this life that is so carefree and easy. And I should be able to too.
But the only problem is. I can't.
I think life can be really light and easy at times. And I am all about the super light and easy.
But I can't ignore the heavier things either. The way my heart hurts when I hear someone has lost a baby. Or the realty that hits when someone passes away in a car accident suddenly. Those things hit me and they stay with me.
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14
But it's not.
There is so much we can be doing. So much hurt we can help heal. So much love we can offer. Compassion to lend and hope to tell about.
I guess I'm just feeling it all so heavy right now, and I just don't have the energy to write about anything else. I hope you will forgive me.
And if you run into me at Target standing in front of the Essie nail polish display wondering if I should go with light pink, or a lighter pink, feel free to give me your suggestion, but also don't be afraid to talk to me about what is really on your heart. Those things deep inside that you think no one else will understand. Because I will. And I hope you will do the same for me here too