Thursday, February 7, 2013

Where I Am


I don't even know where to start with this post. I have no plan, or point to it really. So I'm just going to write from where I am at this very moment..

Even though it has been a little quiet here on my blog {honestly, the word blog is a strange one isn't it?} it has been anything but quiet in my heart and life.

I am craving change. Which is weird. I typically despise change. But I can feel my heart tugging towards it in so many ways that I've pretty much given up on avoiding it. And I don't just mean changing my house decor or hair color....although both of those things have basically happened naturally--like an outward reflection of what is happening on the inside, maybe?

I've been listening to a podcast by Steven Furtick called "The New Rules of Resolution." It's about -changing the way you change- It is amazing and if you have a chance to, you should listen too. I started this new year with a phrase in my head-- "out of the overflow" and just when I thought I knew what it meant, God keeps showing me more. It's amazing how when we press in, he pours out.

I've been being challenged as a mom, more than I ever have been before. Asher is at a delicate age. He started a new school in August, but it wasn't just that. That has been good for him. It all has been good for him, but good doesn't mean easy. He's being challenged in more ways than one. I never want my children to live a sheltered life, yet I want to protect them from so much.....there's got to be a way, right? I'm trying to learn that balance....

I'm learning him. Asher. At this age and phase. I'm learning how to work with him, how to encourage him, how to love him, and how to help him become who God wants him to be. Putting him in a whole new environment has seemed to shine a light on many of his character traits. He is passionate and sensitive. These qualities are his strengths...I fully believe that. But they can also be his weaknesses..

This delicate season of motherhood has needed much more of my attention. All 3 of them are in different phases, and I don't want to miss the preciousness of it. The fleeting moments where I could either take the time to teach and absorb, or default to ignoring it all together. The heaviness of how much responsibility and honor there is in raising our own little lights to a dark world, has been my focus.  And some days it's hard.
Raising good kids is hard.

As I walk with Asher through this time, I am completely aware that it is a mirror reflection of my own walk with the Lord right now. An intentional, correcting, loving, time of change and refinement.

You know those 3 way mirrors that show you every angle of yourself? I like to ignore the angle that gets me from behind,...it's not my most flattering one. But just because I close my eyes to it, doesn't mean it's not there. 

This season of my life has felt like I'm standing in one of those mirrors and even though I really want to, I can't ignore the not so flattering angles. If I sincerely want change, like I do...then I can't ignore them.

The first teaching in Steven Furtick's series is called: "It's not a project, it's a process"....our relationship with the Lord is a process. Our pursuit of being intentional mothers is a process, our heart change is a process...That's where I'm at...walking through the process.

Maybe you are too? Can I encourage you to keep on? Change isn't easy, but the place it is bringing you to is worth it.


" A confident person is open to learning. 
She knows every unknown is a chance to learn more about herself and unleash her abilities"



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13 comments:

  1. Laura. This brought tears I didn't know I had. Especially the "raising good kids is hard". Even thought the girls are still so young I can totally see what their strengths and weakness are. It has taken so much in me to not freak out at those weaknesses because they need constant attention and I can get scared that I'm not doing a good job. But like you said, it's a process. It's so worth it. Thank you, thank you my friend. Love you.

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  2. Wow this is such a touching post! It sounds like life is busy and hard and wonderful all at the same time. I hope things get easier.
    Carlee
    Almost Endearing
    My Shop

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  3. I love this post. I don't have kids so I can't exactly relate on that level...but I love that. It's not a project, it's a process. God is never finished with us. Just when we think we've learned the lesson He is trying to teach, He changes things and shapes us and challenges us in ways we never knew possible.

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  4. Laura, this is a beautiful post from the heart. I've been feeling so challenged with this as well... Raising good kids. It is hard. I recently wrote a post about something similar as well. Keep on keeping on!

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  5. This is sooo good and I loooove Steve Furtick. I will be starting that sermon series tomorrow!

    Thanks for sharing.

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  6. I think I have commented this before, but my husband and I (when we are in the states) attend Elevation and just LOVE LOVE LOVE Pastor Steven and his vision. And goodness, the New Rules of Resolution has been kicking my butt in the best possible way. Heart change, I need it. Daily. Thanks for this reminder and the grace that pours forth from your writing.

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  7. Sometimes you need to take a step back and take stock of where you are and what's going on.

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  8. I recently went through a season of change as well. Internally and externally. I like to think of it as evolution.

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  9. Laura, thanks for sharing. It's a beautiful renovation isnt it? I too am having my life flipped right side up,(what does that even mean?)admittedly, it's A LOT tougher than i ever imagined it might be. As much as there is to look forward to, there is also fear, awkward steps forward and moments of dizziness intertwined! Did i just describe a babies first steps and a roller coaster ride?! Well that's an accurate description. You have inspired me to put my pen to it, so i shall. I love you. Cant wait to see you all next week! Another shopping trip?:) xoxo, Laura

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  10. Gosh I love you and this post was perfect

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  11. Love this post, and I completely understand. I've been feeling the urge to spend the majority of my time with my children instead of getting lost in social media. It's honestly very refreshing!

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