Tuesday, August 27, 2013

First Days & God's Grace





This morning I walked into Bella's room to wake her up for her first day of school and as she opened her eyes slowly, she said "mom, can you sing the "school song" Gigi used to sing to you when you were a little girl?"

So I did. 
And I had to laugh to myself, because I could still hear my mom singing it and I don't remember exactly loving that song as a little girl. 
cause it meant waking up. 
Early. 
And I was never a morning girl. 

But my Bella girl is. And always has been. 
She wakes up smiling. 

I've had a few moments over the last few days, when im looking at her. I'll suddenly see her standing in her crib bright eyed and smiling, or I'll see her profile and remember staring at that same one as I rocked her to sleep at night. I'll put an outift on Mia and can remember the day Bella wore the same one. 

I remember when Asher started kinder, I just couldn't imagine that Bella would ever get to that point. 
That she would be ready or old enough. 
She stayed home with me those days, most of it just she and I, since Mia was still so little and took a lot of naps. 
She was so perfectly content and happy to do whatever I was doing. 

but as the days have gone on and we find ourselves here, at this one, her first day of kindergarten, 
it's all so different. 

she is so ready. 





I keep thinking how good God is to us even in things like this. 
slowly, as days go on, he prepares our hearts. 
makes us ready for the next stage and season. 
when we don't even realize it, or recognize that it's happening, 
it is. 

and I love that about him. 
I think it's his grace, you know? 
part of what makes it easier for these things to happen.

I sat on our stairs last night and stared at the clothes and shoes they had laid out for the next day. 
they were both so excited. 
we'd done our nightly thing like always. dinner, bath, pjs, brush teeth, prayer and bed. 

I prayed longer last night. Only repeated out loud to them what i had already been praying for days in my spirit.
"lord, protect their hearts. make them brave. give them boldness.
let them be a light for you. 
prepare the way ahead of them. let it be one of their best and favorite days."




then I walked out of each of their rooms, made my way to the bottom of the stairs and sat down. 
people had been asking me for days if i was i ready to send bella off, and i sort of laughed, feeling like yes i totally was...
sort of amazed at myself that i felt so ready. 
and i did feel ready.
but it didn't stop the tears from flowing right out and down my cheeks, as i sat there on the stairs. 
looking at those little shoes and thinking of the feet that would wear them. 
how they were once the tiny baby feet i used to kiss. 

I looked at brandon with tears streaming down my face and said, this is just kindergarten! how will i ever send her off to college one day! 

my heart ached for those baby feet. 

but then, in those same moments of sadness, i felt such peace. 
 a stillness. 
sometimes you look back on days or months or years and you feel like they passed too quick, like they are a blur, or you can't remember the details..
i have some moments like that for sure but for the most part, in my heart of hearts i remember it all. 
the little details that i worried so much about forgetting. 
the sweet moments and facial expressions, and times she wore that sweater. 

i remember them. 
and i feel like God did that for me. 
helped me remember to soak it all in. 
don't rush ahead. 

im thankful for that. because it's what makes days like today easier. 
i can look at her big bright morning eyes, and remember the same ones peaking at me from over her crib rails, and i can remember the years in between and know each day was cherished. 
they weren't always perfect, and some were hard. 
bella has taught me patience more than the others. she challenges me and pushes me, and she makes me a better mom. 
but most of all she's taught me grace. what it really is. 

and today just felt like grace. 
like my heart had already been prepared for it. 
I have found that his time truly is perfect. 
and that his grace is sufficient. 

today, in this moment, maybe i can't imagine the day we will send her off to college. it's too much to even imagine.
but today she started kindergarten and the time was just right. 
it wasn't more than this mama heart could handle like i once thought it would be. 
it was the perfect time. 


That is really what God is showing me most right now. 

every day is a step forward, closer to those bigger things. 
it's his grace that guides us through. 
makes us ready. 
prepares us. 

im so thankful for that. 
Mia and I gave them a little surprise -after the first day of school- party. I don't think I could have been happier to see their smiling faces as they walked through the door. 
And I don't think Mia could have been either. 
She was so excited to yell "Surprise!" when they walked in. 

And then she kept asking where the presents were.....


They both ended up loving their day, and their class and their teachers. 
When I asked them what their favorite part of the day was, they said "EVERYTHING."
Sweet relief for this mama. 



5 comments:

  1. Cutest kiddos EVER. I love all of Bella's HK garb!

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  2. What a beautiful post! I hope your kiddos have the best year yet! :-)

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  3. Such sweet words and such precious kids! I know I will be the exact same mess one day. Time flies by too quickly! So glad they both had "everything what the best part" kind of days! Enjoy your sweet time with Mia- just the two of you!

    Heather

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  4. They are so cute! I hope they're having a great year so far!

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  5. HAS GOD'S GRACE BEEN OFFERED TO ALL MEN?

    According to Calvinists, God has only offered grace to a select few who were individually predetermined for salvation before man was created. Is this what the Scriptures proclaim? No, they do not.

    2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God..(NKJV)
    The words of John Calvin are not Scripture.
    The words of the apostle Paul are Scripture.(SEE: 2 Peter 3:15-16)

    The apostle Paul wrote the letter to Titus. Titus is Scripture. John Calvin did not pen one single verse of Scripture. Calvin's words were not Scripture. If John Calvin's writings were inspired by God, then they should be included in the Bible.

    THE BIBLE PROCLAIMS THAT GRACE IS OFFERED TO ALL MANKIND UNDER THE NEW COVENANT TERMS FOR PARDON.

    Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. (NKJV)

    Titus 2:11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. (New International Version)

    Titus 2:11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people. (English Standard Version)

    Titus 2:11 For the all saving grace of God has been revealed to all men; (Aramaic Bible in Plain English)

    Titus 2:11 For the grace of God that brings salvation hath appeared to all men, (King James Bible)

    The free gift of salvation has been offered to all men who will accept God's terms for pardon.

    THE TERMS FOR PARDON.
    1. Faith: John 3:16
    2. Confession: Romans 10:9
    3. Repentance: Acts 3:19
    4. Water Baptism: Acts 2:38


    YOU ARE INVITED TO FOLLOW MY CHRISTIAN BLOG> http://steve-finnell.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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