Monday, September 16, 2013

my own race

The crazy thing about running is that its just you. With your own thoughts and your own words. And all that time to reflect can really make you go deeper. When all of the noise of my day to day is taken away, I'm forced to be quiet....and to listen.

For me, it has become so much more of a surrender of will. An acknowledgment of my own weakness and a complete reliance on God. If there is anything He has used most in my life to teach me, speak to me, and grow me, it's running.

As I step into my 3rd week of training for the half, I'm trying hard not to get caught up in the extras. Last year I was totally obsessed with my time and pace while training. It was so distracting. I would constantly compare myself to other runners, or to my sisters and even my dad who was training as well. My whole attitude about running could change based on how my "pace" was. I became so discouraged many times over it.

I think comparison can quickly become an issue with any of us. In anything we strive for. It can steal our joy and our motivation and it can discourage us to the point of quitting.

I don't know about you, but I am so done with all of that.

We all have our own races and our own course. Yours isn't mine and mine isn't yours and they don't look like one another's either. Coming to that moment earlier this year, of realizing I had nothing to prove to anyone, has really freed me.

And freeing that part of my mind up, has made even more space for focusing on what God is teaching me through this.  I'm trying to take in the process of training. Soak it up and take it each day. Each week. Each mile. I am determined not to try and skip ahead or get off focus. I want to learn and grow with each new week. That is my prayer. To finish what I set out to do that very day. Whether it's 2 miles or 5 or 13. I want to focus on that day and finish it well.

My goal is to cross the finish line and feel proud of the work I put in to the -in between.- To know I didn't compare, or compete, or lose focus. But to know I finished well and that I ran my own race.

That's kinda just how I want to live my life in general, how about you?


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