Thursday, October 3, 2013

F R E E





{Top is from TJ Maxx,  Jeggings and Shoes from Target}


"You turned my mourning into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. That my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord, my God I will praise you forever."
Psalm 30:12

I remember not long after we lost Grace, I suddenly found this huge love for music and dancing. Now mind you I can't really dance. I'm definitely not terrible, but I definitely don't have rhythm. So somewhere in between those two? thats about where I am.

I remember dancing in the car to a song that came on the radio with Brandon and being fully aware that I looked so silly, and being just as fully aware that I could care less.

Thats what was suddenly different. Not the love for music or dancing to it, but the not caring how silly I looked while doing it.  I remember the moment I realized that had changed. It was one of the first moments I think I really started to see how God was transforming me.

I've had so much on my heart recently and so many of the feelings of my past have been resurfacing as I walk through some things with people close to me. So much of the struggles and the emotions, and the things I had to walk through to get to where I am. It feels like they've all come back to stare me right in the face again. Almost like a test to see if the areas where I thought I'd healed, really had.

You know I honestly can't say they have completely. I'm not sure they ever really will. At least not until eternity. But one word that keeps striking my spirit is "F R E E."  It's become one of my favorite words. It says that though I may not ever be rid of the struggles, I'm not bound by them. I don't live my life imprisoned by them anymore.

One of my biggest issues and struggles has always been that I worried about what people thought of me. For so long, I hid a lot of my heart and a lot of what I was going through, because I was afraid to let people in too close. Afraid of getting hurt or criticized. It was my way of protecting myself. Really I think it was my way of feeling like I could control the parts of me people knew or saw. I built up walls so high people couldn't see past them.

But freedom for me, came in dancing. As silly as that sounds. It started there. In being confident enough to let people see me not be perfect and put together. Not be completely in control. To let my walls crumble and just be the person God made me.

You and I? We're free! To live, to sing, to be happy, to be filled with joy, to see the good, to smile and laugh, to celebrate, to dance. It doesn't mean those things we struggle with disappear, it means they don't control us. They have no power over us.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let your heart be burdened again by the yoke of slavery." {Galations 5:1}

So here's what I say y'all. Turn up one of your favorite songs and get to dancing. Be Free. Cause Christ has already set you free! That good bit of truth is just awesome, isn't it? I don't know about you, but I need to remember to live by it more.

6 comments:

  1. I just happened to read Galations 5 this morning. I don't feel like that is coincidence at all! Thanks for the reminder that there is true FREEDOM in Christ!

    Love your blog!
    Katie Raines

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  2. that bit of truth is definitely more than enough to dance. yes we are so free in Him. amen!!

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  3. Stop it. I need you entire wardrobe, please. You are SO gorgeous.

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  4. Love this! Music and dancing are SO freeing, especially when we're praising Christ! I can't sit or stand still when there's worship music playing. Love your heart :) xo

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  5. I love this so much! I've had stuff in the past that I've been healed and delivered from and lately I feel like they're coming up again, or in new ways that I didn't expect. I could just so relate to what you're saying. and interestingly my sister told me a little while ago she had a dream she was praying for me and the only thing that she could see brought freedom was me freely dancing in worship! Praying for that continued freedom for you and thank you for inspiring me to believe for my freedom and to have the courage & faith to just go for it and take it because it's ours from Him!

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