As of today I am 6 months pregnant! 24 weeks. Crazy town. I keep saying I want November and December to go slow (because I'm a freak about the holidays) and then once January comes, time can speed up again so we can hurry and meet our Judah boy in February!!
I realize I haven't actually blogged about the fact that we found out in October that we are having a boy, so....we are having a BOY!
Can not tell you how excited we all are. In a way I feel like I've known him for so long already. We've always known we'd name our next boy Judah (to praise) Charles (after my dad) so any time we talked about a 4th baby, we already referred to it as Judah. Even Asher has been saving his cars and clothes for Judah since he was like 4.
The day we found out, the kids were out of school so they got to come with us. It was one of those days that will stay in my memory forever. Like in my heart, I knew God promised me a boy, so when the ultrasound tech said "boy" it was like the best punch in the stomach you could get. Like, hit you in the face with God's goodness right then and there. Confirmation. His promises are true.
I cried. Just cause in that moment the knowledge of how much God loves us was so heavy on me. He was giving us our boy...our promise. And our boy was active and chubby (already) and perfect.
I've kicked myself just about every day for not being better about writing about this pregnancy. There are so many layers to it that I have processed and walked through and sometimes I wish I had written more about it along the way. So many of you have followed me on this journey of motherhood since the beginning. I still get emails from other women who stumble across my blog and let me know how my words helped them or encouraged them. I want to still be able to do that. Because there isn't just the process of hoping through the loss and struggle, but there is also the process of holding on to that hope through the blessing too.
Thats where I'm at now. Every day is a process and a choice to keep holding on to my faith and choosing not to fear.
I feel like there is so much I could go in to, but I'm just going to leave it here for right now. I wanted to jump back in to my blog, but that first sort of akward "where've you been" post had to get out of the way. So here it is. Now lets move on shall we? I have so much I want to share. So much I want to document even for myself. Hope you'll stick around. Or come back. Or whatever.
As I type this, Mia is singing Let it Go as loud as she can in the living room, and Judah is kicking up a storm. Life is precious. I just want to encourage you to not lose hope. Even in the good. Burry your feet down deep inside it.
I'll be back with more.
Love to you all.